"Cultural" experiences

Lately my "cultural" experiences happen from just living, in other words, not intentional. You´d think that there wouldn´t be room for too many since my days consist of 90% studying. Well... life has a way of suprising you. This week, it was a trip to the ER, my trip to the ER.

Before you freak out, I am fine; but here`s the story. On Monday night while I was studying in the grad study room with Veronique, I started feeling weird; my stomach felt funny, I was a little nauseous, light headed. Similar to a migrane without a headache. So I stopped studying, layed down, slept a little, awoke a couple times to other grad students popping in and out. However, the resting didn`t change how I felt.I thought about just going home, but one of the grad student`s boyfriend is a MD resident, and so they told me to wait so he could check on me. Well, I figured it was a weird migrane (usually I get the headache first) or food poisoning, although the food I ate that day was normal, and all I needed was to go home and sleep and wait it out (beign my dad`s tried and true expert medical advice). I took the check up from the doc; but when they suggested the hospital, I said no.

However, I did accept their offer to give me a ride home which I gladly chose over riding my bike. As we were walking out to the car, I suddenly got very light headed and then nauseous. All in all, I vomitted and fainted. So, needless to say, they again insisted on taking me to the hospital, and I had no energy to try to argue, even though I felt it was unnecessary.

To the emergency room I go. With the res doc, I got speedy admittance. They did a blood test, diagnosed me with gastroenteritis (the most ambigious all inclusive stomach issue ever), gave me an IV, wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic, and after about 3 hours sent me home.

The cultural part: First and foremost the hospitality and giving of the people here, ONCE AGAIN. 4 others brought me to the hospital, the resident doctor and girlfriend hang out for the waiting and checking up on me until 2 hours later they knew I was ok, the other student waited the whole tiem until I was released to give Vero and I a ride home (even though we said we could get a taxi), and Veronique keep me company in the ER. Everyone but Veronique are mere acquaintences from school. Vero is super stressed with finishing her thesis, but made the time for me. Again, so humbling.

Cultural part 2: Obviously the hospital visit. The hospital I went to was great. I hear it depends on which one you go to, but this one was great. I waited around for awhile more, probably more than the US, but I can`t say I`m an expert about US ERs either. The other thing that struck me was the cost: 250 pesos total (3 hours in the ER, blood work, IV), aka under $25 US. That was for me without insurance, when most here are covered by insurance. No wonder they don`t think twice about going to the hospital.My stomach is still on the mend, but I`m getting better, plus I got a trip to the ER out of the deal.

Post-post: My other "cultural" experience is my living situation. Whether or not it`s cultural, (a lot has to do with the particular circumstances going on or just the challenges of life in community), there are still differences. It`s been a challenging lately, challenging not only in the details of the situation, but also knowing how to respond with my various roles and all that I represent. And all that just from living with a family. "Culture" anyone?

School Update

With my stolen laptop, I lost the document with the calendar of my self-designated plan of action for my BGSU papers. As a result, I needed to remake it and reflect on where I am in the process. Well, more or less, I need to write a paper a week for the rest of the time I am here ( at the moment 5 papers, 6 - 7 weeks). Needless to say, that freaked me out. It`s also frustrating as that means my previous plans aren`t cutting it, but I still needed to let go of some things to create more time. The only thing left to cut was my class work here.

So a week and a half ago, I talked to all of my teachers about the need for me to do less for class, my asking for their help as I don`t like to and don`t know how to not give my all, and then either told them the ways I thought I could do less and asked for their permission to do that, or if they had a better idea. I also acknolwedged that it would affect my grade, which is fine.
All of them have been very supportive. It looks different for each class, but it will definitely help.

This has all been, hopefully, a step in my "perfection management"; you all know my tendency to do everything to 110% of my ability, sometimes for others, but often just for myself. "Slacking off" in classes and writing less than perfect papers is imperative, whether I want to or not. However, I as I wrestle with the negative side of this perfection, I am proud of the fact that I have accepted, albeit out of necessity, a plan to do a less than perfect job.

Not a week to repeat...

Well, this was not a week I`d like to repeat anytime soon. There are many reasons. One of the them has to do with living at the house, but the the one I´m going to share about is that my laptop was stolen!

The good news is that 1) all of my school work was backed up and so I didn´t loose any of my papers, 2) that I had a password protecting my computer so the person who stole it can`t just access my computer nor the information on it, and 3) that the Director of the Exchange Program loaned me a laptop (although it doesn`t have wireless internet access, it is a computer that I can use whenever!).
The bad news is that it was a costly carelessness...Not only was it a lost laptop, but it was my brother`s.

So, how does one get a laptop stolen? No, I was not held up at gun point. That being said, I unfortunatley was a litle careless and a little too trusting. So not only am I mad about the computer, I am also mad at myself for allowing it to happen, especially since I am normally a pretty cautious prepared person when it comes to things like this. So back to the question... How did it happen?

Tuesday morning I went to my 8:00 class. I had debated about taking the laptop in the morning, but I had a class and a meeting with a professor that it would be helpful, so I decided to bring it. Upon arriving at class, I sat in my seat, organzied my things, and decided to drink my juice outside the room. I did notice that I left my backpack open and that one could see my laptop, and did consider closing it, but didn`t. In addition I left my purse in my backpack. My rationale for not closing my backpack and leaving it was: 6 of my classmates were in the classroom, I trusted them, the professor would come anytime, and I would be sitting on the bench in front of the door to the classroom.

Within less than five minutes, my laptop was gone (although I didn`t fully realize it until after class, in part because I had debated so much about bringing it in the morning that I thought maybe I had left it in the house).

Reconstructed, this is how I think it was stolen. I had noticed a man dressed in a bright red shirt and khakis look into the room and then later enter (at that time I was sitting outside). My classmates told me after the fact that they noticed him, but no one knew him, but thought he was either a guest listener or a friend of someone else in the class (overly trusting like me). He had followed a classmate into the room, sat down (near my seat). No one saw him take my laptop nor did I see him leave the room (I was not looking out onto the patio and not at the door). However, as my backpack was open and my laptop was easily accessible, I think he saw it, waited until no one was looking, took it, hid it under his shirt or in a newspaer, and left. Again, all within a time frame of less than 5 minutes.

Again, who would have thought? but that`s apparently when these things happen. I am reminded of my time with the Colorado Mountain Club; in the wilderness, utlimately you can depend on no one but yourself for your survival (having extra food, water, knowledge, map-compass, etc.). The same is true with my laptop; ultimately the security of my things is up to me (or at least the parts I can control). It is not my fault that someone stole it, but it probably wouldn`t have happened had I been a little more cautious. An unfortunate occurence indeed! Moral of the story: don`t let up your guard!

Again, a very costly carelessness. Between the laptop and other issues going on, it was not a productive or good week!

Short (?) Snippets

So I tend to be long winded when it comes to words. My writing class the past two semesters hasn’t improved the length of what I have to say, in fact it’s probably made it increased it (although hopefully I now say it more clearly.) Since many of my entries tend to follow suit when it comes to volume, I thought I would try and shake things up this week, and write a few brief snippets!

1. After three weeks! After three weeks with no classes, the strike has finally ended and we are back to school on Monday! I am excited to get back to classes, to have a library again, to spend less time in the house, that the conflict has ended, and that I now know how many more weeks we will need to make up at the end of the school year. Woo hoo! Rumor has it that the governor got involved. Whatever the case, I am glad it’s done!
2. GRRRR…. Did you know that if you write “grrrr…”, it is the same in English, Spanish, and French? (However, I think that the sound might change!) Thanks Veronique for this fun fact!
3. Lame duck: In a conversation with my parents this week, my dad appropriately used this phrase to life here. I have been in Mexico nine months (wow!) and have only two remaining. So, I am starting to be neither here nor there, and I don’t want to put forth energy in people or events when I have limited time left and /or when I am not particularly interested. I don’t know if my lame/sitting duck attitude is good or bad, probably both, but that doesn’t matter. “It is what it is,” a part of the process, and describes (in part) where I’m at.
4. “Culture is when you think things should go a certain way or be done a certain way and there’re not (or vice versa).” My mom said something similar to me when I was describing to her a situation going on in with the family with whom I’m living. I have caught myself thinking how I would “solve the problem” with internal thoughts like, “If only they did this, then…” or “Why don’t they just…?”. However, I try to remind myself that there are lots of factors, cultural and other, of which I know nothing, and having cabin fever doesn’t help either. And so I try to be patient, observe, wait, and most importantly, keep my opinions to myself! (Hopefully I have been successful.)
5. Well, as this is "short"....I am going to call it a night/post! Until next time...

This week's posts

I have an overabundance of posts today…Check out all three: an update on the strike, Spring and the letter D, and Kino pictures.

Strike Update

They’re still on strike. It’s been two weeks. The judge declared it illegal this Thursday, but the union leader failed to acknowledge the decision by immediately claiming the strike legal and failing to turn over the University, as well as rejecting the University’s most recent proposal. Seriously? I don’t get it.

I still feel good about the work I’ve gotten done, but I’m more than ready for classes to resume (as are all the majority of students). I had hoped that the ruling would mean we’d be back to classes this Monday, but that appears to not be the case. Although the University president can use police to force the Union to turn over the University, it appears he is avoiding it for now in hopes that the union does it voluntarily. Again, who knows, except that this strike seems to be very political, and I find that extremely irritating.

“Spring” in Hermosillo: brought to you by the letter D

Dry: There is absolutely no exaggeration here. I have never been in a place as dry as Hermosillo in the spring. Example number one: Skin. I never put so much lotion on my body and face in my life, with the exception of my hands. Example number two: eyes. Although I wear my glasses 95% of the time (soft contacts the rest of the remaining %), but eyes still are super dry, probably in part to all the hours I spend in front of the computer. This week I bought eye drops for my eyes, eye drops for eyes, not contacts. Example three: hair So I have naturally well hydrated hair; I almost never use conditioner, except for the non-scalp part in the dry winter months in Denver, and must wash my hair every day in the morning, to avoid getting an oily head. Well, I have found the ideal place for my father’s oily hair…Hermosillo in the spring. Conditioning my hair and scalp everyday wasn’t doing the trick, so this past week I started washing my hair every other day, and conditioning every day, without it getting oily. I have NEVER been able to do that in my life.

Dusty: Last weekend, I awoke to the sound of wind blowing against the plastic blinds in front of my window. When I looked outside my window, I was unable to see the mountainous hills of Hermosillo due to a dust storm. Although that was a one time occurrence, the dust is not; it is tremendous the amount of dust that enters the house. As a result, I have become extra cautious about closing my laptop when I am not using it (even just an hour) and covering it at night in hopes to prevent it from dying from a dust stroke.

Pic 1: dust storm, pic 2: normal day

Drastic (temperatures): We’ve had many 100 degree afternoons (without air conditioning as the price doesn't drop until May). However we’ve also had evenings where pants and a long sleeve shirt with flip flops is chilly. Not every day or evening has these extremes, but overall it’s already gotten “hot”. I can’t wait until June…just kidding!

Desert beauty: Although I don’t get out of the city much, it’s been fun to watch the various different blooms that occur on the trees here. Furthermore, the trees, especially in the University (when it was open), have staggered blooming seasons; so every couple weeks it’s something new. This is a picture of the Palo Verde’s yellow flowers.

Palo Verde with spring blooms

Pictures from Kino beach: April

Last weekend I headed to Kino and the beach. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it has a rocky section, which is what I love about San Carlos and its beach. In addition to sea urchins, sea anemones, and an oyster catcher (which I had seen in San Carlos this December with my parents), I got some new wildlife…jelly fish (aka bad waters in Spanish). So needless to say I was thrilled with my day away! Enjoy… (I recommend opening the photos in a new window.)

Picture 1: urchins, a school of fish, and lots of jelly fish
Picture 2: a live jelly fish washed up on the rocks!

STRIKE! (And we’re not talking about baseball, however it seems Hermosillo is a fan of both.)

For your reading pleasure this entry has a shortER and long version. The underlined sections are for those of you that want the shortER version. The long version is for those of you interested in some of the details of the strike. Not sure if it’s cultural, but it’s definitely complicated. The bolded is just for organizational benefit, or the really really short version!

The big news here is that the workers of the university are on strike, since last Thursday the 3^rd, which means the school is completely closed. Everything is inaccessible, under lock and key, plus patrolling union members. As a result, I have had a week and 2 days of no school.

Here’s a little background information: there are two unions here, the teachers’ union STAUS and the workers’ union STEUS. However, there are also other employees who fall under neither category. Both the teacher’s union and the worker’s union voted last Thursday whether or not to accept the University’s budget proposal regarding their salary, benefits, and other compensations. Both unions were requesting for more than the university was offering, but in the end, only the workers’ union voted to strike.

However, the strike is much more complicated then salaries and budgets.

One, the strike was immediately declared illegal because they didn’t strike under the established procedures, supposedly. That decision was appealed. This past Wednesday the judge was to give his verdict on that, however, that day was pushed to Thursday. However, the University president failed to show up on Thursday so the meeting between the two parties (and the judge?) has been moved to next Tuesday, the 14^th. That means I for sure don’t have school until the 15^th.

Two, this strike is both politically entangled with the state and nationally supported. The workers union is supported by several other Mexican university union equivalents, Canaea’s mining union (which has been on strike for several months) and PRD, one of the national parties. PRD is involved because it wants the strike to reflect poorly on Sonora’s governor Bours, who is with the PRI party, and is up for reelection next year. (Hermosillo is the capital of the Sonora, the state). All this to say: it’s quite complicated.

When will this end? Potentially this coming Tuesday. However, if it is declared legal and they don’t reach an agreement, they are proposing a strike until May 8^th (supposedly a strikes come in time increments, such as 15, 21 days…I don’t get it.)

So how has this impacted me?

The good part is that it has given me some time to study without worrying about classes. I have taken full advantage and have put in long, fairly successful days, working ahead on school work, including reading the next novel for my lit. class, as well as finishing one paper and starting the next.

The bad news:

Bad news #1: The library is closed, and although I have many books to read for my papers yet, not having a library means what I have is what I get to work with.

Bad news #2: I have zero access to the school library, which means I can only use what I have. I do have many novels to read, can write my opinions, but I would have to save most of the research and support for later. (Plus I can’t work at school, which is always a nice option.)

Bad news #3: The strike has potential to last until May 8 (and maybe longer), depending on what happens this coming Tuesday.

My opinion on this all?

Primary opinion is quite selfish. I was glad for a week of no classes, but I am ready to get back so I can have as much as possible of June to use for Bowling Green papers.

Regarding the union and the university: both have some just fair reasons for some of their requests and actions; however, both have also failed in how they have approached and responded to the entire process. Overall, I support the university over the union.

Again, we’ll see what happens on Tuesday. It’s hard to say what’ll happen. Everyday it changes, so until this ends, this is just a whole lot of drama!

Spring Break: Intro

The week leading up to Easter was spring break, which I spent with my college friend Carissa. We went to three different cities in one week, which meant hypothetically a whirlwind tour. However, our trip was quite tranquil as we didn’t overly pack our time and had great lodging, which meant I was able to return ready to get back to studying. I enjoyed leaving my studies; being able to talk, share, and listen in English with an old friend (aka be understood and understand); and getting to see more parts of the country,although it was just enough to know where I'd go should I return there some day. Check out the next three posts for photos of our three stops. (Photo of Carissa, myself, and Andres, when we met up with him in Mexico City)

Picture of Raul and Ofalia, a couple I had met on my fall trip with Karen. They were fabulous help: advice and reservations on a hotel, prebought our bus tickets, picked us up from the airport, and a reminder to watch my purse! Much appreciated, especially in Mexico City.

Spring Break Part 1: Veracruz, Veracruz

Veracruz: A great place to begin our trip:

Sunshine for my Seattle friend Carissa and humidity for me with a beach to enjoy them (although not the place for true beaching),

drinking coffee with a view of the port and the great blue of the Gulf of Mexico,

a festive atmosphere in the plaza in front of our hotel with the

celebration of Palm Sunday and all the vacationing Mexican tourists on holiday (Spring Break occurs at the same time for all schools and universities, although the south gets an additional week after holy week),

plus many kind helpful locals to welcome us.

(1st picture: distant view of jam packed beach; 2nd pic: San Juan de Ulua Port;
3rd pic: plaza in front of our hotel, 4th pic: plaza at night.)

Spring Break, Part 2: Xalapa

Xalapa: The town where I was going to study before I was found out I would be in Hermosillo. It has a very different feel: colonial buildings, San Francisco hilly streets, Seattle rainy weather. However, we spent most of our time in the neighboring pueblo, Jico, with its beautiful waterfalls surrounding by lush green and cloudy mist: a much needed nature fix! Xalapa has more of my type of nature, although their gray skies would have been a harsh switch from Denver’s 300 days of sunshine, and I would have missed out on the Hermosillo’s fabulous people and University (they are still the best part). No regrets!

Spring Break Part 3: Good Friday in Mexico City

Last day, Mexico City:
Beautiful day, great weather, no noticeable pollution. Fascinating city with lots of history, definitely worth visiting. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to go back. Highlight was seeing Diego Rivera’s murals depicting Mexico’s history in the Governmental Palace, plus meeting up with my friend Andrés from from the 1^st semester threesome.













Top pic: Historical Cathedral in the traditional plaza of the Zocalo Procession


2nd: Viacrusis, i.e. Stations of the Cross procession, in Alameda Park










3rd: Andres and I in front of the Main Aztec Temple ruins, 1 block from the Zocalo


Last pic: Carissa and I in the Zocalo,, also with Cathedral in background.

March 15, 2008 quickie

Hello all...
Sorry for the lack of updates. Unfortunatley, today's will be short as well. The reason being that I am off to a much needed vacation (my flight leaves at 4:30!). It's spring break here in Mexico for all universities and schools, plus many others as well. I am headed down south to check out Mexico City, Veracruz, and Xalapa with my college friend Carissa. With the three cities, it will be a little bit of a hi/bye, whirlwind tour of southern central/eastern Mexico. However, with time at the beach and in the mountains it should be relaxing as well. We are also going to meet up for a day with my friend Andres from last semester.

Life here:
-Still stressed about my papers...don't expect that to change, as I feel like I get more and more behind in regards to the time I will have left, and the time it takes for me to read, research, and write them.

-My computer keyboard has been impossible lately with the q interrupting every other letter, so that has meant more time at school, and more rigid planning of computer time. Thankfully, I got a new keyboard finally came in and so now I have a computer again!

-I didn't get as far as I hoped to on my Bowling Green papers before this vacation, in part due to being sick, in part due to it taking longer than I had hoped. However, no fears...I won't have a computer while traveling, so the work I will be limited to will be reading novels, and that's pretty enjoyable, plus I don't have too high of expectations of the amount I hope to get read.

-This week, we had a Literature/Linguistic Student Forum Conference, and I presented! thanks to the encouragement of my classmates. It went well. The good news was that because time is limited to 20 minutes, almost everyone reads their paper. Boring and harder to listen to in my opinion, but much easier for me to present in a clear understandable format!

Ok, that's it, until I get back. Thanks to all of you who regularly check the blogs and your faithful support and encouragement. I appreciate it a lot!

Ahorita

Update on lots of random:
1. It’s not as fun to write (or read for that matter) a blog when life is work, work, work, and stress, discouragement, struggle. I have had a couple better weeks, but this past week I cried four times. Enough said?

Unfortunately, my stressed and turtled-in self is negatively affecting my interactions with the family of the house; I (not them) need to do a better job of living in community.

2. I dropped a class this week. It was my sociology class about the border. A very interesting topic, but a not-so-great professor in my opinion. I switched to Spanish 5 (advanced Spanish for non-native speakers).

3. The weather’s getting warmer…. We’ve already had temps in the 90s, however today and yesterday it was a a delightful mid/upper 70s (I think). I know the weather has changed, not because of the reported temperatures that I almost never check, but because I a) am not sleeping with the heavy fleece blanket, b) have had my window open at night, c) have worn sandals three times, and d) the computer lab turned on the air. I am not looking forward to any month past March, knowing it’s only going to get hotter.

4. Fun/good things: Went to part of a baby shower, hung with Veronique and Carlos several times, one of which was to celebrate her birthday, had two shoulders to cry on this past week (thank you Vero and Carmen!), went for coffee with my friend Eugenia, finished taxes and financial aid last weekend!, rented a dvd, allowed myself more time for brief, random conversations with classmates, returned to my day of rest, aka no homework, today.

5. Anxiety: Two weeks until spring break. Instead of it being a date where I’ll finally get to relax (which I will), it’s a date that is coming too fast for the work I hope to get done by then.

6. Hopefully soon I’ll add some pictures. Well, soon being very relative, just like the word “ahorita” (technically translated “right now”, actual meaning being “after x, y, z happen, then ahorita,” or at least something like that. My friend Alberto said I should write a paper on the word. I’ll write it ahorita…hahahaaaa.

Update to "Who said this was going to be easy?"

Life still is challenging…

I worry about having regrets at the end of the semester with feeling like I missed out and didn't take advantage of being in Mexico. However, the fear of not leaving enough time for my papers for Bowling Green is a greater concern and therefore studying takes priority over everything else.

I have come to accept that I am a grad student and that is my life. That means I don’t have the time I want to spend with people, and therefore not necessarily the energy for random people, that lately I have said no to several invitations, that I won’t have very many people I keep in touch with when I leave, that I won’t develop any deep relationships this summer. Not ideal, sometimes very discouraging, but I am accepting it more and more. I am a grad student, who just happens to be living in Mexico.

In summary, I have turtled in, trying to protect myself, my needs, and my time first and foremost, in order to “survive,” to the exclusion of the outside world.

Usually…This past week included a little more people time: last weekend going to Kino (see previous post plus there are pictures!), going out for lunch with the family on Valentine’s Day, planning a trip over spring break with a dear college friend, having a healing reconciling conversation with a friend (thank you!), getting to hang out with Vero and Carlos today. All of which meant lots of studying on Friday and Saturday, and tomorrow it's time to get back to serious working.

Yes, there are moments of joy, happiness, and peace here…just often hidden, buried, or scattered. More importantly, despite all the challenges and loneliness, I still have no regrets about being in Mexico.

Kino in February

My reason for not updating last week: a mini-getaway to Kino, the nearest beach 2 hours away in bus.

I had worked hard during the week pulling an almost all-nighter, up until 5:00 a.m., trying to finish paper #1 for Bowling Green. (It’s finished although unsatisfactorily. For now, I need to move onto the other nine, and then if I have time this summer I will revisit it.) So, to reward my hard work and take a break, I had decided to go to the beach.

On Saturday my friend Carmen and her son went with me, and then I stayed overnight by myself, and on Sunday hung out on the beach and (a book for class) and came back to Hermosillo. In all, I had a little bit of everything I wanted: to hang out with a friend, eat good seafood, solitude, a chance to leisurely read, and above all the beach...(see last comment)

The beach with its shells, interesting rocks, and the above all the sound of the waves are my nature here, my new “mountains.” Very relaxing and good for the soul.

Super Bowl Sunday

I am watching the Super Bowl. It’s on one of the basics channels, and surprisingly no one is in the house so I don’t feel bad for hogging the tv. Some of you, I am sure, are groaning (for any number of reasons) the fact that even here in Mexico I am watching the Super Bowl and participating in and contributing to.... (you feel in the blank (s). Others of you probably think it’s great that I can watch the Super Bowl. I myself find it funny: first of all I don’t care a bit about the game or the teams, but it’s a little bit of “home” and yet it is definitely the Mexican version with the commentary all in Spanish and none of the famous/infamous commercials. Plus I’m watching it by myself. Are you finding this humorous yet? I hope so.

Ok, so to something a little more substantial. Regarding last week’s blog and my struggles of being here this 2^nd semester, it’s still the same. Good moments, down moments, but overall, it’s still hard and I haven’t been my normal happy self.

That being said, there wasn’t much new to say. So I translated the text I wrote for my writing class two weeks ago,” Lessons from the Baseball Field” (see next post). Furthermore, it holds application for me while I continue the process of learning here.

Baseball, huh? Hmm, I see a sports theme. Oh right, the Super Bowl…, maybe I should check what’s happening….Woo hooo! Touch down for the Giants! (Don’t be fooled, I still not really watching.)

PS Ok, just kidding again. How can I not pay attention to such an exciting finish! Sorry Patriots fans, quite a disappointing end to their amazing season. But, bravo Giants!

Lessons from the baseball field

Near my house are several baseball fields, and around them is a dirt path that I use to run or walk and watch people. Since it winter and the temperatures are cooler, teams of children have been learning how to play baseball.

I remember when I learned this sport: I had participated in a little league one summer and I also played in the backyard with my brothers and dad. However, I thought that everyone else were better baseball players than I was, and I felt inferior when I struck out or missed a catch. As a result, after a few years playing with my brothers and after just one summer in the city league, I quit.

However, I enjoy watching live baseball, especially here in Hermosillo as it is a very popular sport. I have gone to several games here, and each time I attend, I want to understand it more. As a result, I took note of the children on the fields during their practice. Upon observing them, I was intrigued: their way of learning how to play baseball was much different than how I learned.

What caught me by surprise was that they weren’t playing a game; instead they were practicing the skills, in isolation. In one of the fields, a group of kids were leaning how to bat. An adult would pitch the ball several times so that the little one had several opportunities to bat, regardless of whether or not he/she successfully hit the ball. In other fields, the children were practicing catching. However, this skill can be subdivided, which they did. One group only caught ground balls, and a different group received just pop-flies. In yet another field, the little leaguers practiced running the bases. In each of the groups, the children repeated the same skill almost the entire practice giving them the chance to master it.

Observing them gave me cause to reflect. I had not learned in the same manner as they were when I was a child. Yes, we were taught the various skills, but were given little time to learn them and soon we had to use them in a game. As mentioned earlier, I thought I wasn’t very good at baseball, when in reality, perhaps I only lacked practice.

The lessons given on the baseball diamonds hold application off the field as well. Similar to these children, we as adults continue trying t learn new things or beginning new stages of life; it could be a job change, a move to another city, the beginning of a relationship, a marriage, the start of having a family, etc. With each of these, there are skills or aspects that we need to learn first before we feel comfortable and /or are successful. Sometimes we become discouraged in the transition because we have forgotten that we must learn the parts before the whole. At least, this is true for me. So the next time I try something new or am discouraged in the process, I will remember these lessons from the baseball field.

Who said this was going to be easy all year long?

Last semester, although it had its challenges, was honeymoonish overall and I was pretty easy going in regards to life here.

This semester it is a change in expectations. I want and think that relationships should be better/easier/deeper, but they aren’t. I think and expect that because I have grown a lot in Spanish and have been here a semester that means I should have less of a struggle with Spanish. Hah! I think that school work and balance will be easier. I think last semester was easier. I think that I have forgotten the hard parts of last semester. Last semester I didn’t have many expectations, this semester I do and don’t just accept things or write things off just because “I’m in Mexico!” I expected that once 2nd semester started, things would be back to normal.

This semester is different. My primary social group has left /changed. I have new classes, professor, and some new classmates. I have had four different housemate changes in the last two weeks with people either coming and/or going ( thankfully having a room to myself has not been compromised). This semester I have work for BGSU in preparation of my qualifying exam in August, in addition to University of Sonora homework.

This semester so far has been anything but honeymoon. There has been a lot of negativity, stress, hurt, loneliness. (My aunt said that negativity is a good clue of cultural/life change or adjustment.)

Not to say that there aren’t good things. However, I will save that for another entry. I often like to wrap up things in a positive light, sometimes to minimize the struggle. Today, I’d rather it be a little more raw.

So here are some final thoughts that express my conflicting desires and feelings, specifically on relationships and work. Here they are....

• I want deep friendships, but I don’t want to be vulnerable and share that I am lonely. I don’t want to be lonely, but I am tired of the energy it takes for relationships. Nor do I have the time for all these relationships that I already have or want to have, but I still need and want these relationships.
• I like and don’t like acquaintances relationships: Sometimes I sick of talking about the same introductory things (hey foreigner, where you from, what are you doing here, how are classes, what are you doing this weekend, blah, blah, blah), but some days I am grateful for those conversations and they are just what I need.
• My relationship with the family is deeper than others due to the mere fact that I live with them and so in some ways it is easier to be comfortable, to invest in them, etc. However, it also means having pet peeves, forgiving, giving, or being intentional, especially on the days I would rather not.
• I need to work, I need to relax, I need to play. I need to have balance, but I am a perfectionist.
• I am glad I am in Mexico and a grad student, but I am not sure how to do both.
• One moment or day, all is well: I am outgoing, I am having fun, I feel good about the work I am doing and accomplishing, I am ok with the decisions I have made. The next, I am discouraged, sad, insecure, and /or lonely.