June 15, 2008

Past two weekes update:

1. Still feel good about my living situation. I have loved the last two weeks living alone. However, as of today I have one (maybe two) roommates; a professor and her daughter, although I don´t know if her daughter is coming or not. I have met the professor, but very briefly, so I haven´t really gotten a chance to know her yet. She will be here the rest of the time I will be. I have been a little anxious about this change, but I knew it was a possibility when I decided to live here and was willing to take that "risk". As school is out, it might be nice to have a little company. Either way, it is for only for three weeks.

2. Farewells continue. Classes are finished, and most are also done with exams. I threw two official goodbye parties (celebrated with cake) with the two classes with whom I have been both semesters. I also said goodbye, earlier than expected, to my friend Alberto who is off to France for the summer. Needless to say, the these farewells have made me sad and melancoly. However, I am grateful for having gotten to know them: they have helped make this year a great experience and some of my best memories are with them. (It´s a good thing there are still friends here who I haven´t had to say goodbye to yet.)

3. Social time: Carne asada with Carmen this weekend, farewell for Alberto, lunch with Carlos (Veronique´s boyfriend), salsa/excercie classes, lunch with the family at the old house, running into classmates at school, etc. (I haven´t had a lack for those of you that worry about me!)

4. Reflections: saying goodbye, end of semester, almost the end of my year here have made me very reflective. Much of this year has been so different than I expected; with many parts more wonderful than I antipated, and other personal things more painful and difficult than I thought. I have so many feelings that surface: readiness to go back to the US (to understand everything again, to be finished with my papers for BGSU); nostalgia and grief that comes with saying goodbyes and approaching the end; disappointment and suprise at the goals, hopes, expectations that haven´t been fulfilled like I had wanted them to be; realization about the changes that I will have upon returning to the US and the areas that wouldn´t get any easier (starting over again in a new place), desires to take advantage of the time I do have left with the people I know. Again, many many reflections. Shocker I know!

5. BGSU papers...still working on them. Slower than I´d like or should. (One reason to appreciate having classes done and some goodbyes made already).

6. Three weeks left. (10 1/2 month completed). Very strange to think that will no longer be my home.

7. Still cooking yumminess! Still insanely hot!

Other news: social and cutlural calendar

-Said goodbye to Veronique this week. I am doing ok, but the week before she left I had a good cry at least three times.

-Went to the Fiestas of Pitic last night. It’s the town’s five day festival. All of the events are free, and they get some pretty good, and famous, musicians and others to come in. The one I got to see was Lila Downs, the singer who did the sound track for the movie Frida. She had a wonderful concert. I wish I would have been able to take advantage of the festival more than just last night.

-Next week is the last week of classes. I am hoping to make some extra time in the week to say my offical goodbyes to my current and former classmates. Although I am ready for no more class assignments, I will miss the community that I have gotten every day. (Even though I will be here until July, I probably won´t see many of them once finals are done).

-BGSU work? Hmmm….between all the other things going on (both expected and unexpected) the past several weeks, suffice it to say that I haven’t been spending too much time on school work. However, the deadlines and requirements continue to come sooner and sooner. Time to step it up again!

Update on life here, aka End of the Fall Semester and Goodbyes

1) Post-last weekend: Buying a plane ticket to go home was a good choice and effective solution to my depressed state last weekend. Not only did it mean that I was back to my cheerful positive self, it also meant that that it was easier saying goodbye to some relationships from Intercambio knowing I wouldn’t be alone over the holidays.

2) This week and end of the semester:
This week I officially finished my semester and with better-than-hoped-for results. Those results included excellent grades and a tranquil and non-stressful finish to academic work. However, I still went to school almost every day. One reason is that I have 10 papers to do for Bowling Green next semester in addition to classes: (A reminder that I really am a grad student). Therefore I tried to determine which classes would best correspond to these classes by talking with various professors. I also attempted to start reading for one of the essays. However all that I accomplished was running into Intercambio friends and hanging out with them instead of studying. It was nice to spend some one on one time with several of them before they left.

3) Goodbyes
This weekend was all fiesta y goodbyes for my friends from the Intercambio Exchange program that are only here for a semester. The people I will miss most is my old housemate Andrés; my traveling companions-social group Allan, Javier, and Zulma; and my classmate and very temporary Spain housemate Maria.

Andrés, from Puebla, was my first peer in Hermosillo and was one of the threesome. The threesome included he, myself, and Veronique, because we lived together in the Pitic house and got to know Hermosillo together. Throughout the semester, the three of us routinely got together for lunch despite developing different friend groups. He is someone who is playful and joyful child at heart, a fellow Christian, and a loyal intentional friend.

Andres, Vero y yo (Vero is staying full year)

Allan, Javier, and Zulma were part of the faithful five that went to EVERY exchange group activity that Alberto planned (Alberto and I being the other two of the five). From the Hermosillo trolley bus tour, to Kino, to the Ecological Center, to the baseball game, to the Rio Sonora salty trip, we have had many laughs together and many more memories. I will miss having a group where I feel comfortable and developing friendship of our individual relationships.

(Side story to accompany pictures: During our Rio Sonora trip, we were talking about hand gestures and the differences that occur in various countries and cultures. One of the examples that came up was how to count to four. In France, you start with the thumb as number one, thumb and index as two, and continue adding fingers for the following numbers. So four is made with all fingers up except for the pinky. We had many laughs as I cannot make a four like that. The resulting pictures are of the creative fours the rest of them made.)

Javier, with his double jointed pinky

Zulma imitading Javier

Allan, uhh...are you sure that´s a four?

Alberto (not leaving), successfully demonstrating 4

I return to the primary account of this post and saying goodbye to my favorite Intercambio friends.

The Spanish Maria (with her challenging Cadiz Spain accent) was also one of my housemates in Pitic, although very temporarily. She and I also shared a class together. In some ways we are very alike: she has a million friends and acquaintances on campus, especially in the Lit and Linguistics school. In other ways she is the opposite than me: she is not a perfectionist and knows how to skip, slack and still do decent in her school work. Despite our differences and even though we would only hang out at school, I knew I would always consider her a friend when she listened and encouraged me when I broke down one day at the beginning of the semester. I will miss her smiling face and carefree accepting attitude.

Maria and I

4) Looking forward:
Not that life here is a perfect picture, or even those relationships listed above. They are not the people I am have been the most vulnerable with. However, they are some of the people that I got a chance to go beyond the immediate surface acquaintance stage. I don’t know how long these relationships will continue, but I am thankful for them. I still feel the same as last week (and months) that most relationships here are acquaintances. Most of the time that is ok. However, the good news is that I get to be with my family over Christmas (parents come tonight!), that I get to experience a Christmas in Mexico, that I have had a great 1st semester in all regards, and that I am very glad that I have many more months here to do what I came to do: improve my Spanish, know the people (deepen the relationships I do have and probably make many more acquaintances), and learn much more about Mexico.

Hard: 2nd round

So, there have been many more times than two that life here has been really hard, but it’s the second journal entry with this name.

Life has been really hard this weekend. On Thursday, I was on Cloud 9, since my work was primarily done and I was on the home stretch. On Friday, I was depressed. I went out in the afternoon and evening and had a good time, but at the end of the night I was still sad. Saturday was the same story. Today, Sunday, I was sad again.

What’s the deal? I should be happy now that I’m on vacation. However, vacation is exactly what’s to blame.

Triggers and Consequential Thoughts: No schedule. No more classes. Not getting the random social interactions at school with the thousands of acquaintances I have. It’s the Christmas season. Too much time to think and reflect. Not having got as much exercise lately. Not having gone to church recently and missing the renewal that brings. Not having a church I really like. Being tired after a semester of hard work. An “expectations communications cultural” conflict with the family the other weekend; (it was resolved and it’s ok, but it was still a no win situation and uncomfortable.) Being reminded that I am a foreigner first of all. Communicating and interacting in a language I still haven’t mastered and in which there are still many things I don’t understand or miss. Knowing I have essays to turn into Bowling Green in August. Wanting to work ahead, but relax, hang out with people, help out in the house, travel, watch lots of movies, and wanting to do nothing, and yet something. Having too much free time. Not having people to travel with. Not being with my brothers and sister in laws during the holidays. Debating again and again about if I made the right decision to stay, or if I should change the plan, and then what I’ll miss out on if I go home. Not having Christmas as I know it and all that entails. Being reminded that I have primarily lots of fun social acquaintances, but not many close friends. Knowing that my social group of Intercambio are leaving. (At least there will be a few who will still be here.) Feeling like I should be in a better spot than I am and shouldn’t feel this way, but knowing that this moment would come. Knowing that it’s part of the process of living abroad, but that it sucks none the less.

Result: I’ve been a wreck. Crying. Trying to remedy the situation and still being down and at the point of tears. Feeling sad, lonely, sad… lonely, lonely, lonely….sad.

Ways I’ve tried to remedy the situation: Exercising, going out with people, crying, calling home to the US, thinking of how to use my time before and after my parents are here (i.e. Read Harry Potter #7 and other books in English to take my brain off things when everyone else is with their family), be intentional about initiating hanging out with classmates that I’d like to get to know more, debating about flying home after my parents are here and the pros and cons of that, and in the end buying a plane ticket (and I'll still have a little over two weeks here in Hermosillo while not in classes).

The good news: Although I will continue to struggle on and off with not having close friends here, I feel much better knowing that I’ll be with my brothers and family over the holiday during the part of vacation which would have been the hardest (post family through New Year’s). Sunday evening and Monday have gone MUCH better!

A Place to Live (Finally!)

The family, Luz Belia with the Edgar in front (his birthday) Cristian in the back left and Flor back right.
From left to right: Marta (Cristian's girlfriend),Rosalba (her twin sister), and Valeria (house student)


Listen to the sounds of my house as I write. Every once and awhile I can hear Luz Belia, the head of the house, talk with her brother and sister-in-law in the kitchen downstairs. Her twenty year old daughter Flor’s voice comes though louder though as she and her friends are hanging out in the room below mine. Maria Elena, an eight year old niece, talks to herself as she plays on the stairs. In the street below, dogs bark and occasional cars pass by. I am sure that the TV is on as well as twenty-four year son Cristian is a movie fanatic. However in my room, there is only the whirl of the fan and the tap dance of the keys on the computer. I have a room to myself in this house full of people, and if the AC was turned on upstairs, I wouldn’t hear anything. Well, almost. Manchitas, (“Spotty”) the dog, when she is outside of the patio, barks at every living creature that passes by. However, I think she’s down stairs.
I arrived here a week ago Sunday, and it has proved to be the perfect place for me. One reason is that I am living with a family. The family consists of Luz Belia and her three children: Edgar 15, Flor 20ish, and Cristian 24. (Her husband died a little over a year ago of cancer.) Her nephew Antonio, also known as “Chaco,” also lives in the house as he is not from Hermosillo, but is studying at the University here. (A linguistic note: Here in Hermosillo, the “ch” is pronounced “sh” is nickname is really “Shasho”. Not so great Spanish from a purist standpoint, but very helpful in determining someone’s origin in Mexico.) Anyway, the family has been extremely welcoming both in regards to the house and their activities. I have already been to an uncle’s birthday party and met several other relatives. Not only do I get to get plugged into their family network, I also have a social network of University students. Not only are Cristian, Flor , Chaco, and myself studying, there are two other girls living here, Valeria and Ilse, but Cristian’s girlfriend Marta and her twin sister often frequent the house. So despite the fact that I feel “old” as I am hanging out with people in their early twenties, there is almost always something going on, so that is really nice. However, I also get my own space! I offered to pay a little extra to have a room to myself. At times I feel a little guilty as the house is quite full, but not guilty enough to change it as I really appreciate having a quiet place to study or retreat when I need it. The final reason the house is perfect is that Luz Belia is a practicing Catholic who also attends an Evangelical church which also has some Pentecostal beliefs as well! As a fellow Christian, I feel blessed to live with a common faith from whom I can be challenged with the differences as well. Furthermore, Valeria, one of the other girls who lives here, is also a Christian.
Regarding the actual house building, the house is not large, but not too small either. There is a downstairs with a kitchen and living room with a little corner for the computer by the stairs as well as a bathroom. Adjacent to the kitchen is a little store (groceries and snacks) that Luz Belia runs and owns. Upstairs, are the four bedrooms as well as two bathrooms. The house amenities are fabulous! We have air conditioning and wireless internet in the house! In summary, it is a very nice place to live and I am pleased.

Not so Sola after all...

The good news I´m not as alone as I anticipated. The Unison (University of Sonora) has a student exchange program and there are approximately 20 of us. Two of them are staying in the same house as I am. Veronique comes from France and will be here for a year. She is also studying in the Literature program (I am as well, officially, but with my liberal arts background, I am diversifying my classes and have classes with 3 different "schools" or programs here.) We will have one class together this semester so that will be great, especially since her Spanish kicks butt (really, she speaks like a native). Andrès is here for a semester and is from Puebla, a town relatively close to Mexico City and if the battke site of Cinco de Mayo. It´s been nice to be with them as we are all have similar needs right now (exploring the city and area, learning the streets and public transportation, no friends, etc.) They are both exceptional people and just good folks so that´s very comfortable and comforting for me. I am the eldest of the group, though as they are both 21. So, obviously been pleased to have them as companions that are becoming my friends. Regarding the rest of the group, most are from Mexico, but not from Hermosillo. Most of the students (of the 20/25 thousand) are from Hermosillo or Sonora There are also two other students from the US (one from the Midwest and the other from Arizona). There is also another girl from Spain (and maybe 1 or 2 more coming as well). All the foreign exchange students that have arrived met this past Wednesday as part of our orientation. I am the eldest of the group (I think), but at least I have mom´s young looks! (Thanks Mom!) I´m also the least fluent of the four non-native speakers. A little intimidating. At least, it´s good for my Spanish, even if I feel like I don´t qualify to be here. Anyway, the group will reconvene in a few weeks to have some typical Sonoran/ Hermosillan food. And, if we´re lucky, the exchange office, is going to try to organize two trips during the semester so we might even get to travel! Not so sola after all, no?