March 15, 2008 quickie

Hello all...
Sorry for the lack of updates. Unfortunatley, today's will be short as well. The reason being that I am off to a much needed vacation (my flight leaves at 4:30!). It's spring break here in Mexico for all universities and schools, plus many others as well. I am headed down south to check out Mexico City, Veracruz, and Xalapa with my college friend Carissa. With the three cities, it will be a little bit of a hi/bye, whirlwind tour of southern central/eastern Mexico. However, with time at the beach and in the mountains it should be relaxing as well. We are also going to meet up for a day with my friend Andres from last semester.

Life here:
-Still stressed about my papers...don't expect that to change, as I feel like I get more and more behind in regards to the time I will have left, and the time it takes for me to read, research, and write them.

-My computer keyboard has been impossible lately with the q interrupting every other letter, so that has meant more time at school, and more rigid planning of computer time. Thankfully, I got a new keyboard finally came in and so now I have a computer again!

-I didn't get as far as I hoped to on my Bowling Green papers before this vacation, in part due to being sick, in part due to it taking longer than I had hoped. However, no fears...I won't have a computer while traveling, so the work I will be limited to will be reading novels, and that's pretty enjoyable, plus I don't have too high of expectations of the amount I hope to get read.

-This week, we had a Literature/Linguistic Student Forum Conference, and I presented! thanks to the encouragement of my classmates. It went well. The good news was that because time is limited to 20 minutes, almost everyone reads their paper. Boring and harder to listen to in my opinion, but much easier for me to present in a clear understandable format!

Ok, that's it, until I get back. Thanks to all of you who regularly check the blogs and your faithful support and encouragement. I appreciate it a lot!

Ahorita

Update on lots of random:
1. It’s not as fun to write (or read for that matter) a blog when life is work, work, work, and stress, discouragement, struggle. I have had a couple better weeks, but this past week I cried four times. Enough said?

Unfortunately, my stressed and turtled-in self is negatively affecting my interactions with the family of the house; I (not them) need to do a better job of living in community.

2. I dropped a class this week. It was my sociology class about the border. A very interesting topic, but a not-so-great professor in my opinion. I switched to Spanish 5 (advanced Spanish for non-native speakers).

3. The weather’s getting warmer…. We’ve already had temps in the 90s, however today and yesterday it was a a delightful mid/upper 70s (I think). I know the weather has changed, not because of the reported temperatures that I almost never check, but because I a) am not sleeping with the heavy fleece blanket, b) have had my window open at night, c) have worn sandals three times, and d) the computer lab turned on the air. I am not looking forward to any month past March, knowing it’s only going to get hotter.

4. Fun/good things: Went to part of a baby shower, hung with Veronique and Carlos several times, one of which was to celebrate her birthday, had two shoulders to cry on this past week (thank you Vero and Carmen!), went for coffee with my friend Eugenia, finished taxes and financial aid last weekend!, rented a dvd, allowed myself more time for brief, random conversations with classmates, returned to my day of rest, aka no homework, today.

5. Anxiety: Two weeks until spring break. Instead of it being a date where I’ll finally get to relax (which I will), it’s a date that is coming too fast for the work I hope to get done by then.

6. Hopefully soon I’ll add some pictures. Well, soon being very relative, just like the word “ahorita” (technically translated “right now”, actual meaning being “after x, y, z happen, then ahorita,” or at least something like that. My friend Alberto said I should write a paper on the word. I’ll write it ahorita…hahahaaaa.

Update to "Who said this was going to be easy?"

Life still is challenging…

I worry about having regrets at the end of the semester with feeling like I missed out and didn't take advantage of being in Mexico. However, the fear of not leaving enough time for my papers for Bowling Green is a greater concern and therefore studying takes priority over everything else.

I have come to accept that I am a grad student and that is my life. That means I don’t have the time I want to spend with people, and therefore not necessarily the energy for random people, that lately I have said no to several invitations, that I won’t have very many people I keep in touch with when I leave, that I won’t develop any deep relationships this summer. Not ideal, sometimes very discouraging, but I am accepting it more and more. I am a grad student, who just happens to be living in Mexico.

In summary, I have turtled in, trying to protect myself, my needs, and my time first and foremost, in order to “survive,” to the exclusion of the outside world.

Usually…This past week included a little more people time: last weekend going to Kino (see previous post plus there are pictures!), going out for lunch with the family on Valentine’s Day, planning a trip over spring break with a dear college friend, having a healing reconciling conversation with a friend (thank you!), getting to hang out with Vero and Carlos today. All of which meant lots of studying on Friday and Saturday, and tomorrow it's time to get back to serious working.

Yes, there are moments of joy, happiness, and peace here…just often hidden, buried, or scattered. More importantly, despite all the challenges and loneliness, I still have no regrets about being in Mexico.

Kino in February

My reason for not updating last week: a mini-getaway to Kino, the nearest beach 2 hours away in bus.

I had worked hard during the week pulling an almost all-nighter, up until 5:00 a.m., trying to finish paper #1 for Bowling Green. (It’s finished although unsatisfactorily. For now, I need to move onto the other nine, and then if I have time this summer I will revisit it.) So, to reward my hard work and take a break, I had decided to go to the beach.

On Saturday my friend Carmen and her son went with me, and then I stayed overnight by myself, and on Sunday hung out on the beach and (a book for class) and came back to Hermosillo. In all, I had a little bit of everything I wanted: to hang out with a friend, eat good seafood, solitude, a chance to leisurely read, and above all the beach...(see last comment)

The beach with its shells, interesting rocks, and the above all the sound of the waves are my nature here, my new “mountains.” Very relaxing and good for the soul.

Super Bowl Sunday

I am watching the Super Bowl. It’s on one of the basics channels, and surprisingly no one is in the house so I don’t feel bad for hogging the tv. Some of you, I am sure, are groaning (for any number of reasons) the fact that even here in Mexico I am watching the Super Bowl and participating in and contributing to.... (you feel in the blank (s). Others of you probably think it’s great that I can watch the Super Bowl. I myself find it funny: first of all I don’t care a bit about the game or the teams, but it’s a little bit of “home” and yet it is definitely the Mexican version with the commentary all in Spanish and none of the famous/infamous commercials. Plus I’m watching it by myself. Are you finding this humorous yet? I hope so.

Ok, so to something a little more substantial. Regarding last week’s blog and my struggles of being here this 2^nd semester, it’s still the same. Good moments, down moments, but overall, it’s still hard and I haven’t been my normal happy self.

That being said, there wasn’t much new to say. So I translated the text I wrote for my writing class two weeks ago,” Lessons from the Baseball Field” (see next post). Furthermore, it holds application for me while I continue the process of learning here.

Baseball, huh? Hmm, I see a sports theme. Oh right, the Super Bowl…, maybe I should check what’s happening….Woo hooo! Touch down for the Giants! (Don’t be fooled, I still not really watching.)

PS Ok, just kidding again. How can I not pay attention to such an exciting finish! Sorry Patriots fans, quite a disappointing end to their amazing season. But, bravo Giants!

Lessons from the baseball field

Near my house are several baseball fields, and around them is a dirt path that I use to run or walk and watch people. Since it winter and the temperatures are cooler, teams of children have been learning how to play baseball.

I remember when I learned this sport: I had participated in a little league one summer and I also played in the backyard with my brothers and dad. However, I thought that everyone else were better baseball players than I was, and I felt inferior when I struck out or missed a catch. As a result, after a few years playing with my brothers and after just one summer in the city league, I quit.

However, I enjoy watching live baseball, especially here in Hermosillo as it is a very popular sport. I have gone to several games here, and each time I attend, I want to understand it more. As a result, I took note of the children on the fields during their practice. Upon observing them, I was intrigued: their way of learning how to play baseball was much different than how I learned.

What caught me by surprise was that they weren’t playing a game; instead they were practicing the skills, in isolation. In one of the fields, a group of kids were leaning how to bat. An adult would pitch the ball several times so that the little one had several opportunities to bat, regardless of whether or not he/she successfully hit the ball. In other fields, the children were practicing catching. However, this skill can be subdivided, which they did. One group only caught ground balls, and a different group received just pop-flies. In yet another field, the little leaguers practiced running the bases. In each of the groups, the children repeated the same skill almost the entire practice giving them the chance to master it.

Observing them gave me cause to reflect. I had not learned in the same manner as they were when I was a child. Yes, we were taught the various skills, but were given little time to learn them and soon we had to use them in a game. As mentioned earlier, I thought I wasn’t very good at baseball, when in reality, perhaps I only lacked practice.

The lessons given on the baseball diamonds hold application off the field as well. Similar to these children, we as adults continue trying t learn new things or beginning new stages of life; it could be a job change, a move to another city, the beginning of a relationship, a marriage, the start of having a family, etc. With each of these, there are skills or aspects that we need to learn first before we feel comfortable and /or are successful. Sometimes we become discouraged in the transition because we have forgotten that we must learn the parts before the whole. At least, this is true for me. So the next time I try something new or am discouraged in the process, I will remember these lessons from the baseball field.

Who said this was going to be easy all year long?

Last semester, although it had its challenges, was honeymoonish overall and I was pretty easy going in regards to life here.

This semester it is a change in expectations. I want and think that relationships should be better/easier/deeper, but they aren’t. I think and expect that because I have grown a lot in Spanish and have been here a semester that means I should have less of a struggle with Spanish. Hah! I think that school work and balance will be easier. I think last semester was easier. I think that I have forgotten the hard parts of last semester. Last semester I didn’t have many expectations, this semester I do and don’t just accept things or write things off just because “I’m in Mexico!” I expected that once 2nd semester started, things would be back to normal.

This semester is different. My primary social group has left /changed. I have new classes, professor, and some new classmates. I have had four different housemate changes in the last two weeks with people either coming and/or going ( thankfully having a room to myself has not been compromised). This semester I have work for BGSU in preparation of my qualifying exam in August, in addition to University of Sonora homework.

This semester so far has been anything but honeymoon. There has been a lot of negativity, stress, hurt, loneliness. (My aunt said that negativity is a good clue of cultural/life change or adjustment.)

Not to say that there aren’t good things. However, I will save that for another entry. I often like to wrap up things in a positive light, sometimes to minimize the struggle. Today, I’d rather it be a little more raw.

So here are some final thoughts that express my conflicting desires and feelings, specifically on relationships and work. Here they are....

• I want deep friendships, but I don’t want to be vulnerable and share that I am lonely. I don’t want to be lonely, but I am tired of the energy it takes for relationships. Nor do I have the time for all these relationships that I already have or want to have, but I still need and want these relationships.
• I like and don’t like acquaintances relationships: Sometimes I sick of talking about the same introductory things (hey foreigner, where you from, what are you doing here, how are classes, what are you doing this weekend, blah, blah, blah), but some days I am grateful for those conversations and they are just what I need.
• My relationship with the family is deeper than others due to the mere fact that I live with them and so in some ways it is easier to be comfortable, to invest in them, etc. However, it also means having pet peeves, forgiving, giving, or being intentional, especially on the days I would rather not.
• I need to work, I need to relax, I need to play. I need to have balance, but I am a perfectionist.
• I am glad I am in Mexico and a grad student, but I am not sure how to do both.
• One moment or day, all is well: I am outgoing, I am having fun, I feel good about the work I am doing and accomplishing, I am ok with the decisions I have made. The next, I am discouraged, sad, insecure, and /or lonely.

First Week of Second Semester

1) First day of class: Anyone remember my first day of class back in August? Words to describe that day would be: anxiety, shock, overwhelmed. First day of second semester: normal, easy, routine. What a difference a semester has made! So it was very fun to reflect of the growth I have made!

2) Courses:

After much planning and debating about which classes were best for me to take, I finally know my schedule and courses for this semester. Most importantly, I am quite pleased about it, especially regarding the content! They are classes a) of personal interest to me, b) related to my BGSU assignments (except the Soc . class), and cover a variety of educational fields. So, the classes I am taking are Mexican Literature 4 (1960s to current), Writing Workshop 2, Spanish Morpho-syntax (Linguistic study of the how words and sentence are formed) and Sociology of the border/migration. Furthermore my schedule is from 8:00-1:00 Monday through Thursday with an hour break at 9:00, and on Friday I only have two hours of class. This means that every afternoon I have a big open block of time, which is helpful for studying. I still need to figure out if I am going to incorporate a possible PE course, which would break that up, but would be beneficial in carving out time to exercise.

3) Classmates:

Two of my classes, Mex Lit 4 and Writing Workshop 2, are continuations of the classes I took last semester. This means I have class with two of the same groups of students (about 50 students altogether)! This is really nice as it means that I get to continue those relationships instead of having to meet two more sets of students. Furthermore, both of the groups are quite fun and I definitely enjoyed the class atmosphere. (In one class, I have the same professor, but in the rest the professors are all different). Returning to the topic of students, in my Morphosytaxis we are only three students. I guess I’ll be doing al my homework in that class!

4) Balance of study and fun

Although overall I did a decent job of balancing these areas this week, I will need to be extra intentional in this area this semester with the work I will need to accomplish. The trick will be not burning out of too much studying and therefore making my work less efficient, being able to say no to fun when I need to work, still feeling like I am taking advantage of living here, and time to deepen relationships. What else to say…same story as always for me.

5) Cold: I don't exactly know what the outside temperature has been here in the mornings, although one especially cold morning it was 2 degrees Celsius. However, even when it warms up outside (for example at 11:00), the classrooms are freezing. So I tend to wear my winter coat or heavy fall coat and scarf (and hat) in class, and still am cold. However, I can't complain too much as soon enough it will be hot again here, and midday can often be 80 degrees Farenheit now in January.

Second Semester Stress....Already?

¿Ya empezó? ¿It’s already started? was Luz Belia’s comment earlier this weekend. She was referring to both the semester and my stressing out. Although classes officially start tomorrow, Monday the 14^th, I was already stressing this week. So, yes, Luz Belia, I’ve already started. The primary cause is related to a list of questions for my qualifying exam for BGSU next year. The good news is that is a exam that we can work on ahead of time and I have until August to work on it. The bad news is that it is 9 papers to write.

One of their recommendations was to take classes related to the questions on the exam. So, this past week (in addition to the last week of first semester) I have been trying to set up my courses for this semester. However, the challenge was that there is a wide variety of material on the exams, and as a result, one question often only related to one class. Furthermore, many classes were only offered last semester and/or conflict with other classes. I also have consulted many professors, but I found that the more professors I consulted the more complicated it became.

In addition to the challenge of stress of trying to make the ideal semester with classes, is the stress of the work it will involve, in addition to that of my classes. All of you that know me can affirm that I am not the best manager or balancer of work/fun in that I often work more than I need to and then get stressed out. So, in order to help curb this, I have already started on my exam for Bowling Green. However, I still managed to stress out for two reasons: 1) I mapped out the semester and having approximately only two weeks per question/paper (yikes!), and 2) I had a hard time finding reference material (i.e. books, articles) to enable me to answer one the questions. The lack of resources is a common problem here that I knew about it, but had forgotten how frustrating and limited it is. It’s not just a question of not having the book on hand, it’s not being able to order them. And in regard to articles, the academic journals here at the university are cataloged by articles, and I haven’t find a great internet site for getting articles in Spanish on the web, although thankfully I do have BGSU to help out with that, although Spanish articles are still hard to find.

So, yes, school and its stress have resumed. The good news is that I made a lot of head way on Friday, both in regards to classes and finding key background information on one of the questions. I was also reminded that I need to examine my goals for next semester. I know I will work hard, but I also don’t want to miss out on the great opportunities of being here. So, that’s what I will try to do. And regarding the work of the semester…I know there will be a lot to do, but after all, I am a grad student.

Reverse reverse culture shock

I expected to have culture shock when my parents were here in Mexico as that was what happened when Karen visited in October. There were still various moments when differences surfaced, but I didn’t feel the unexpected shock that I did in October.

The same occurred with Iowa when I returned with my parents to see my brothers for New Years. I expected to feel very out of place and experience reverse culture shock, but I was surprised how easily I slipped back into the norms, rhythms, and routines of life there. Sure, I was more cognoscente and reflective than normal and there were actions and comments to prove it: 1) shouting “They’re so many blues eyes and blond here!” upon finally spotting my friends in the airport, 2) taking pictures of the snow and toy tractors, and 3) to seeing my family’s outings (taking a walk on the prairie or going to a presidential campaigning event) as culture events instead of mere activities. However, these were the exception. Iowa is, after all, a place I have gone to visit for the last ten years. In that sense, it was just another trip.

Returning to Mexico, however, surprised me. And so I have experienced reverse-reverse culture shock. I have been comfortable and happy here overall, so I didn’t expect to have difficulty returning, especially with plenty of work awaiting me to prevent myself from over thinking. However, I felt like a stranger. Is this really my home? Have I really lived here for 4 months? Is the relationship with the family here as good as it appeared when my parents were here? Do I even know people here and do they care if I am back? I know I should have a little trouble switching back to Spanish, but my Spanish is horrible! With the changes for the next semester, will it be like stating over and do I have the energy to going being brave and outgoing and hard core? Overall, I am a stranger here.

There are many reasons for my reverse reverse culture shock. The time that my parents were here was picture perfect, and although true in many regards, was not reflective of day to day reality. The feelings and struggles I had during my hard breakdown weekend still exist because the reasons have not changed: friends have left, school is not in session, there are many changes ahead for the next semester. Leaving my family is always hard because I treasure the time I do have with them. Finally, relationships are the hardest for me, not at the beginning, but going from the acquaintances to good solid friendships that have good depth, trust, and are worth keeping. Finally, my home culture is the US and not Mexico, and though I may fight against it at times, it still is what essentially defines me.

However, acknowledging the reverse reverse culture shock and validating the feelings that accompany it is half the battle. My Spanish is not back to par, but it’ll be back. Regarding people, I have a great family and a great base for developing a stronger relationship with them. I also have many friends and acquaintances here that are worth investing in. It helped tremendously when they were excited about making plans to hang out. Yes, I will still have reverse reverse culture shock and I have many changes and challenges ahead, but there are many many good things here. And knowing I am blessed is what will give me the strength and desire to continue to invest myself 110% in this adventure.

All I want for Christmas

The last two weeks were wonderful. On the 18^th, my parents arrived to Mexico and we spent a week here. Then on the 26^th we headed to Iowa, where I stayed until the 2^nd.

The time with my parents couldn’t have gone better. We got to do a little bit of everything. On Monday night they arrived, and got a very warm welcome from my host family. On Tuesday, we hung out in Hermosillo. In the morning, we went to school where they meet several of my professors, we went out for lunch with the Exchange Office staff, and then took my host family out for carne asada and Mariachi. Then on Wednesday, after a delicious breakfast served by Luz Belia, we set off to the tourist resort town of San Carlos, two hours away, for 4 ½ days of relaxation. We enjoyed examining rocks and shells on the beach, observing all types of birds(from oyster catchers to ospreys) as well as spotting a few fish, eating sea food, listening to the waves break upon the shore, delighting in hot showers, and good old relaxing whether reading or playing cards. Then, for Christmas Eve, we went up to the mountain pueblo of Baviacora, the hometown of my host family. My parents had to stay up until 3:30 a.m. where they were always at the mercy of and need of a translator (me!). We had a gift exchange, ate a meal at 12:00 midnight, and overall just chatted with the family.

The highlight for me, in addition to being with parents, was the interaction between my parents and host family. My parents were intentional about asking them questions and talking with them, despite not knowing Spanish. Luz Belia treated them royally with her amazing food and formal hospitality. The oldest son Christian, I found out, speaks English quite well (having self taught himself with only movies and music). Both he and my parents enjoyed talking with each other. Edgar and Flor, who know almost no English, were both very intentional about hanging out and just being present. Dad and Flor enjoyed giving each other a hard time with their dry sarcastic sense of humor. Mom taught Flor Sudoku. And I had the fun job of translating all these interactions. However, it I wasn’t around, they still attempted to communicate with each other, sometimes successfully. Overall, our interactions were full of love, welcome, hospitality, laughter, and joy. It was very beautiful and humbling experience, especially since their acceptance of each other was a reflection of their love for me.

Then I headed back with Mom and Dad to Iowa. I spent Friday seeing a few dear friends before my brothers arrived. Then Saturday through Monday I spent with my parents and two brothers and sister in laws. We did celebrate Christmas with them while I was there, but the real gift was just being with Jon, Toni, Steve, and Rachel. (The snow and cold were nice too!)

What more could I ask for!

Holiday Scenes in Hermosillo, Sonora

Merry Christmas all! Thank you for support you have given me through reading and checking this blog. I wish you a very merry holiday season.

Here are just a few pictures of what Christmas looks like in Hermosillo. There are many pictures I did not include: last minute crowds shopping in the "Centro," down town area of shops and markets, red Nochebuena plants (Poinsetta as known in the US) lining store windows and churches, or a bowl of warm Menudo or Posole soup accompanied by tamales, both traditional holiday meals.
However, here are just a few pics of what I saw for Christmas (very much through US Christmas eyes).

Posada shared with friends:

Pre-Christmas holidday get together or party, includes a piñata

A Pastorela with my classmate Lulu as the Archangel Michael:

(A pastorela is a teatric presentation in which the devil attempts to thwart the shepherds journey to Bethleham to see the baby Jesus. It is incorporates an element of comedy in that it includes humor (local and/or present day political and other jokes) not relates to the Nativity story.)

Lighted Nativity near my house

Another Nativity scene done by the city
The Christmas tree in my house...it made me think of a palm tree. I thougth it was pretty funny...a cross between a palm and pine. Perfect for here! However, it was soon fixed and we had a very nice full Christmas tree in the house.
In front of the main plaza and Cathedral

"Please don't make noise. Santa Claus is sleeping." (Accompanied by him snoring!) Santa's House display on Christmas day.

Update on life here, aka End of the Fall Semester and Goodbyes

1) Post-last weekend: Buying a plane ticket to go home was a good choice and effective solution to my depressed state last weekend. Not only did it mean that I was back to my cheerful positive self, it also meant that that it was easier saying goodbye to some relationships from Intercambio knowing I wouldn’t be alone over the holidays.

2) This week and end of the semester:
This week I officially finished my semester and with better-than-hoped-for results. Those results included excellent grades and a tranquil and non-stressful finish to academic work. However, I still went to school almost every day. One reason is that I have 10 papers to do for Bowling Green next semester in addition to classes: (A reminder that I really am a grad student). Therefore I tried to determine which classes would best correspond to these classes by talking with various professors. I also attempted to start reading for one of the essays. However all that I accomplished was running into Intercambio friends and hanging out with them instead of studying. It was nice to spend some one on one time with several of them before they left.

3) Goodbyes
This weekend was all fiesta y goodbyes for my friends from the Intercambio Exchange program that are only here for a semester. The people I will miss most is my old housemate Andrés; my traveling companions-social group Allan, Javier, and Zulma; and my classmate and very temporary Spain housemate Maria.

Andrés, from Puebla, was my first peer in Hermosillo and was one of the threesome. The threesome included he, myself, and Veronique, because we lived together in the Pitic house and got to know Hermosillo together. Throughout the semester, the three of us routinely got together for lunch despite developing different friend groups. He is someone who is playful and joyful child at heart, a fellow Christian, and a loyal intentional friend.

Andres, Vero y yo (Vero is staying full year)

Allan, Javier, and Zulma were part of the faithful five that went to EVERY exchange group activity that Alberto planned (Alberto and I being the other two of the five). From the Hermosillo trolley bus tour, to Kino, to the Ecological Center, to the baseball game, to the Rio Sonora salty trip, we have had many laughs together and many more memories. I will miss having a group where I feel comfortable and developing friendship of our individual relationships.

(Side story to accompany pictures: During our Rio Sonora trip, we were talking about hand gestures and the differences that occur in various countries and cultures. One of the examples that came up was how to count to four. In France, you start with the thumb as number one, thumb and index as two, and continue adding fingers for the following numbers. So four is made with all fingers up except for the pinky. We had many laughs as I cannot make a four like that. The resulting pictures are of the creative fours the rest of them made.)

Javier, with his double jointed pinky

Zulma imitading Javier

Allan, uhh...are you sure that´s a four?

Alberto (not leaving), successfully demonstrating 4

I return to the primary account of this post and saying goodbye to my favorite Intercambio friends.

The Spanish Maria (with her challenging Cadiz Spain accent) was also one of my housemates in Pitic, although very temporarily. She and I also shared a class together. In some ways we are very alike: she has a million friends and acquaintances on campus, especially in the Lit and Linguistics school. In other ways she is the opposite than me: she is not a perfectionist and knows how to skip, slack and still do decent in her school work. Despite our differences and even though we would only hang out at school, I knew I would always consider her a friend when she listened and encouraged me when I broke down one day at the beginning of the semester. I will miss her smiling face and carefree accepting attitude.

Maria and I

4) Looking forward:
Not that life here is a perfect picture, or even those relationships listed above. They are not the people I am have been the most vulnerable with. However, they are some of the people that I got a chance to go beyond the immediate surface acquaintance stage. I don’t know how long these relationships will continue, but I am thankful for them. I still feel the same as last week (and months) that most relationships here are acquaintances. Most of the time that is ok. However, the good news is that I get to be with my family over Christmas (parents come tonight!), that I get to experience a Christmas in Mexico, that I have had a great 1st semester in all regards, and that I am very glad that I have many more months here to do what I came to do: improve my Spanish, know the people (deepen the relationships I do have and probably make many more acquaintances), and learn much more about Mexico.

Hard: 2nd round

So, there have been many more times than two that life here has been really hard, but it’s the second journal entry with this name.

Life has been really hard this weekend. On Thursday, I was on Cloud 9, since my work was primarily done and I was on the home stretch. On Friday, I was depressed. I went out in the afternoon and evening and had a good time, but at the end of the night I was still sad. Saturday was the same story. Today, Sunday, I was sad again.

What’s the deal? I should be happy now that I’m on vacation. However, vacation is exactly what’s to blame.

Triggers and Consequential Thoughts: No schedule. No more classes. Not getting the random social interactions at school with the thousands of acquaintances I have. It’s the Christmas season. Too much time to think and reflect. Not having got as much exercise lately. Not having gone to church recently and missing the renewal that brings. Not having a church I really like. Being tired after a semester of hard work. An “expectations communications cultural” conflict with the family the other weekend; (it was resolved and it’s ok, but it was still a no win situation and uncomfortable.) Being reminded that I am a foreigner first of all. Communicating and interacting in a language I still haven’t mastered and in which there are still many things I don’t understand or miss. Knowing I have essays to turn into Bowling Green in August. Wanting to work ahead, but relax, hang out with people, help out in the house, travel, watch lots of movies, and wanting to do nothing, and yet something. Having too much free time. Not having people to travel with. Not being with my brothers and sister in laws during the holidays. Debating again and again about if I made the right decision to stay, or if I should change the plan, and then what I’ll miss out on if I go home. Not having Christmas as I know it and all that entails. Being reminded that I have primarily lots of fun social acquaintances, but not many close friends. Knowing that my social group of Intercambio are leaving. (At least there will be a few who will still be here.) Feeling like I should be in a better spot than I am and shouldn’t feel this way, but knowing that this moment would come. Knowing that it’s part of the process of living abroad, but that it sucks none the less.

Result: I’ve been a wreck. Crying. Trying to remedy the situation and still being down and at the point of tears. Feeling sad, lonely, sad… lonely, lonely, lonely….sad.

Ways I’ve tried to remedy the situation: Exercising, going out with people, crying, calling home to the US, thinking of how to use my time before and after my parents are here (i.e. Read Harry Potter #7 and other books in English to take my brain off things when everyone else is with their family), be intentional about initiating hanging out with classmates that I’d like to get to know more, debating about flying home after my parents are here and the pros and cons of that, and in the end buying a plane ticket (and I'll still have a little over two weeks here in Hermosillo while not in classes).

The good news: Although I will continue to struggle on and off with not having close friends here, I feel much better knowing that I’ll be with my brothers and family over the holiday during the part of vacation which would have been the hardest (post family through New Year’s). Sunday evening and Monday have gone MUCH better!

Pass the salt please…Un viaje salada (a salty trip)

Part 1:

Sal (Spanish for salt, secondary definition): Bad luck or misfortune (Who knew!)

During the long weekend in honor of Revolution Day on November 20^th, I went to on a trip in the lower mountains along the Sonoran River with friends from the Intercambio exchange program. Our plan was to go from Hermosillo north to Cananea, stay overnight in Aconchi y visit the towns of Ures and Arizpe along the way. We achieved our goals, more or less, but not at all according to plan.

First of all we had transportation issues. One, we had the departure time wrong for the bus, so we had to wait an extra hour in Hermosillo which would change our plans for the rest of the day. Furthermore, once in route, the buses were overfilled. That meant that we had to either stand or sit on the floor. Two: We didn’t have transportation to the hot springs in Aconchi. We eventually got a ride in the back of a police truck. However, we didn’t have way back. We talked with the owner of the place, who said he’d arrange transportation for us, but that ride never showed up. Three: The following day, the bus that passes through Aconchi at 11:00 for Arizpe didn’t come, so we had to take the 1:00 bus and go directly to Cananea instead of stopping in Arizpe. Four, the following day we though that the return trip from Cananea to Hermosillo was only four hours, when it was actually almost seven hours.

Sitting in the aisle on the bus (Pauline in front, me in back)...ahh the joys!

Another problem we had was regarding the activities we hoped to do. In Cananea, we had hoped to go to the Copper Mine, but the workers were on strike. Thankfully we also were planning to go the museum in town. Just kidding, it’s closed on Monday. Another difficulty with the activities was our bus difficulties. We didn’t have enough time in Ures o in Arizpe. In Ures, we did go to the museum, but we only had ten minutes inside. In Arizpe, we only had five minutes to change buses and take a few pictures of the plaza.

Me in front of Museum window which says "Closed, Monday and Tuesday"
I am not imitating a pirate here, I am practicing a gesture which here means more or less: "Seriously? Really? You've got to be kidding!"

We also had housing difficulties in Aconchi. We had called a hotel to make a reservation, but were informed that it wasn’t necessary. However, upon arrival, they informed us that not only were they full (with reservations), but that the other hotels in town wouldn’t have vacancies either because of the town festival. Thankfully, that wasn’t entirely true. We found a hotel with two rooms with two single beds in each room. We took them, even though there were seven of us!

Our trip didn’t go according to plan. We had plenty of bad luck; it was a salty trip, un viaje salado!

Alberto with make due sign that says "Lodging Needed, One Night"

Part 2:

Sal (Primary definition): extraordinarily white crystallized substance with its own unique flavor…used to flavor and season food…

The salt we add to our food serves various purposes. Salt, like other spices, adds its own unique flavor to the food. However, unlike other spices, it also accents and brings out the natural pre-existing flavors making the food more flavorful (obviously only with an appropriate amount of salt).

The “saltiness” of how things didn’t go according to plan also served a similar purpose to table salt. For example, our salty events added a distinct flavor to our trip: It made it unforgettable due to all the bad luck we had.

Another similarity to table salt was that accented or brought out the good parts of the trip. We were thankful when things actually went well and according to plan, even back things, like having seats on the bus, having double beds in Cananea to sleep in, when we finally got a return ride from the hot springs, or getting to see the beginning of the parade even though we arrived an hour after it was supposed to start.

Revolution Day Parade in Cananea

Another way it accented the good of the trip was that we took advantage of what we had. For example, we had a lot of time. While we were waiting for the bus, we played the mini slot machine and also learned various card games (Of course, I taught them Tick! Thanks Kathy…I am on the way to making it an international game. Well, at least, known among my friends!) While waiting for a way back to Aconchi from the hot springs, we had hours of relaxation in spa like waters, and when we had finished, we made a campfire to eliminate some of the evening mountain cool air.

In summary, we had a “salty” trip AND we had a great time. I will remember the beauty of the sierra and the joy of being in the mountains again, the millions of bright stars against a black night, the cold temperatures (for real!), the warmth of my hooded sweatshirt and stocking cap as well as several shots of Tequila, the celebratory carnival like atmosphere of the festival in Aconchi, playing cards, running into three people I knew from Hermosillo that weren’t a part of the trip (I definitely know too many people, right Ang?),the many, many times we posed for group pictures, the Revolution Day parade in Cananea, the smiles and laugher of my fellow exchange friends, and the blessing of fellowship.

The Exchange Gang

front center: Pauliune (France)

center row: Allan (Pachuca, Mex.), Zulma and Javier (The Baja, Mex), and Celine (Sweden)

Behind Zulma: Alberto (Hermosillo, Mex)

Thanksgiving Day

It´s Thanksgiving Day, but not here. The good news is that I´m not lonely and don´t anticipate being sad. I think that my lack of homesickness today is 1) each of my couples of my family are in different states, 2) there´s been lots of activites (Flor´s birthday party yesterday and heading to the sierra last weekend), 3) it´s the end of the semester and so there is a lot of work to be done, and 4) it´s been a really good positive experience living and studying here. So, today I´m thankful that I´m not lonely, homesick, or sad and that I am surrounded by great people here. I´m also thankful knowing that I have many dear friends and family back in the US that love me and have given me much support this year. Thank you to all of you for being who you are. You honor me with your love and friendship and I am blessed to know you!

November 16, 2006

Intercambio. Heading out of town tomorrow (Saturday). I´m heading to the mountains here in Sonora with some friends from Intercambio. Monday is a holiday here so it´s a long weekend and therefore I may not write until next week.
Hasta pronto.
Michelle
PS My favorite moment of the week was Monday morning. It was overcast and cool and it felt like fall. All I wanted to do was enjoy a cup of coffee outside and skip my classes. Of course, I didn´t, but it was simly delightful while it lasted.

Campechana

Campechana...a coctel of mariscos, a mixture of various seafood in a lime-tomato liquid served in a large margarita glass with chips... (My favorite way to eat seafood here)....relationship to this post...the random mixture

1. Culture shock...What hit me most this week was my lack of good girlfriends here. Again, probably partly in response to having Karen here, party due to the fact of lots of acquaintences, party due to the fact that guy relationships are more complicated by nature.

2. Time to work...I was able to work a lot last week due to two strikes and a literature conference that canceled two of my classes for three days! That helped me make some progress on my end of semester projects and neither did it imply having too much time on my hands to think. Super nice!

3. Church...I decided to try out some different churches as the one I´m been attending isn´t a place where I feel like I grow. I do get challenged there because of some of our differences, and I really like the people, but there is enough discomfort and unsatisfaction to check out others. Sunday I went to one close to my house and liked it enough that I will try it again.

4. My spot of nature...I think I´ve finally identified where I my green fix. The hour or so before the sun sets either in the University plaza with the sun´s warm light interspersed with shadows with all the green palms, leaves or walking the "Kilometer", a dirt path around the baseball fields that includes some decent views of the city and enough trees and palms.

5. Christmas...So I guess it´s almost Christmas. I saw the first advertisements on tv and there are Christmas trees and decorations in the stores. I guess in the US that shopping Christmas season starts before Thanksgiving despite our complaints. However, what did me in was that some of my neighbors already have trees up, lights hung, and decorations out. Ahhh....and it´s just starting to feel like US fall here in terms of temperature. (Thankfully they did tell me that it is quite early to be doing Christmas decorations already.)

6. That´s all for now...They are kicking me off of the computer. Later!

Karen’s visit…spending a week with a friend here in Mexico

1) Vacation/Visitors

I had been worried about trying to do school and have a visitor. Attending classes helps me understand the topics more, and I also spend a lot of time studying. However, this week was a great week to have a visitor. First, I ended up having a lighter week of classes the two weeks previously due to several canceled classes. This meant I was able to work ahead on school work. Second, we had Friday off for Day of the Dead. I decided that I could afford to take two days off of classes and do a trip with Karen out of town. As a result of all of the above, it was a week of vacation even with two days of attending classes, and it was absolutely fabulous to not have to worry about school work for one week!

2) Jam-packed:

I don’t think I could repeat this week if I tried in terms of the amount of the amount of varied activities that we did. It was fun to have Karen see so many different parts of life here in addition to see various aspects of Mexico.

So here’s a list of what she/we did:

· Experience the heat of Hermosillo (it’s still hot in comparison to the US, but it’s nothing compared to what it was)

· dinner out with my Intercambio (Exchange student) friends

· church

· lunch out with the women of the family

· stay at my house

· visit my classes and the University

· do a mini-self tour of the town and see the Cathedral (that’s about as touristy as Hermosillo gets)

· go to Hermosillo’s Naranjeros baseball game

· take a trip to La Barranca de Cobre/Copper Canyon

· go to the beach (Maviri Beach near Los Mochis/Topolobampo)

· get Mexican hospitality with staying a family in Los Mochis that are friends of Luz Belia instead of staying in a hotel

· try some good Sonoran and Coastal Mexico food: Carne Asada, Tortillas Gorditas “Fatty” style, the pastry Coyota, fresh fish from the sea, and coconut

· try out all types of transportation (train, bus, plane, taxi, feet)

· interact with the people with her Spanish (she has a similar undergrad degree as I do).

3) Barranca de Cobre/Copper Canyon: One of the places I wanted to make sure I got to see this year was Copper Canyon. It is comparable to the Grand Canyon and it is actually deeper in parts. The canyon is located in Chihuahua state between the city of Chihuahua and Los Mochis ( Sinaloa state)and primarily accessible to visitor’s via train. Although it’s just in the next state over, it took us a seven hour bus ride to get to Los Mochis and another 8 hours on train just to get to a town in the middle of the Canyon/train route. We only spent 24 hours at a town (Posada Barranca)in the Canyon, however it was great to be in the mountains, see another part of the country, learn a little about the Tarahumara Indigenous population that live in the Canyon, and be in the cold!

4) Reflection: Karen did a great job of asking a lot of questions about life here. It helped as she had spent a semester in Honduras. She can relate to living abroad in a Spanish speaking country. This brought up many cultural thoughts and questions.

5) Culture Shock: Due to a variety of factors (including the reflections with Karen), I experienced a lot of culture shock this week. This seemed odd, because I have been here for three months. However, here’s why I think I had culture shock: 1) Karen was my first visitor to Hermosillo. She also got one of the best glimpses into my world since she also knows Spanish. I felt many times that I also suddenly was suddenly looking at my own life from an outside perspective (albeit mine). It was like I was a tourist of my own life. So weird. 2) Due to all the reflection, I became more self-conscious about my adaption here. Where am I in the process of adapting to the people and culture? Do I see it the same as Karen? Have I been so not self-conscious here both in embracing the experience but also been comfortable with various differences that I have been oblivious to some cultural differences that I should be paying closer attention to? What areas do I wish we better? 3) Karen is not only a dear friend, but also someone whose presence reminded me constantly of my life in Denver/US and the friends I left behind. Obviously that causes some grief and stress due to that loss. Furthermore, in being in new places and new situations while traveling, there were new situations that caused us to examine what potential cultural differences were going on and I think I became overly sensitive to trying to avoid miscommunication because of those differences. Today, I feel fine. We’ll see how this week goes. I think parts will be extra hard. However, as I have much to do for school in the next month with 3 big projects due, studying will help keep my mind from over-thinking and get me back into the groove of life here.

6) Final comments…

It was a great week. Tomorrow’s Monday and it’s back to Sola in Sonora. Even though it might be hard, what a lucky woman I am that I get to do all this!

Photos from Copper Canyon/La Barranca de Cobre

Karen and I

The train

Copper Canyon/La Barranca de Cobre

Pic for my dad of a "Bonsai" tree.

Tarahumara woman weaving with the basket I bought from her in foreground

Foreigner's Perspective on a Foreigner's Life in a Foreign Country

Karen and I at Naranjero's Baseball game with Beto, the Coyote, mascot

Karen, Andres, and I

Michelle’s Visitor

This past week, I had the opportunity to come to Hermosillo and visit Michelle. “Who am I?” You must be thinking. I am a friend of Michelle’s from Denver. I first got to know Michelle when I moved to Denver just over four years ago. Anyway, I am a middle school math teacher who had a week off and was excited to use my Spanish and get a chance to see Michelle in Mexico. I studied Spanish in college as well as spent a semester in Honduras, so coming to Mexico was something that immediately excited me and what better excuse than to come and visit a friend!

So, why am I writing on her blog? Well, we thought it would be interesting for me to write in her blog as a foreigner’s perspective on a foreigner’s life in foreign country! So, I am going to try and give you some insights and share things that I have appreciated seeing and learning that Michelle might not think of. It has been extremely fun to see her life here and meet the people she comes in contact with every day, so with that, there are three things that I have to share with you.

1. Michelle knows a lot of people here in Hermosillo! Every where we went I was introduced to somebody new. It was crazy to me how many people she knows from class, church, her family, and just random friends! She is well connected! She had people she would just run into, call, or send text messages to. What was even more impressive to me was that most of the people she interacts with are Mexican, not other people from the U.S. She is embracing the culture, people, and way of life here in Mexico. She hasn’t been afraid to make friends, fit in, and be part of life here. It has been so fun to me to come to a country and meet locals and be a part of their everyday life; going to classes, parties, eating dinner, getting rides, and having conversations.
2. Michelle SIEMPRE esta usando su español. Michelle is always using her Spanish! This became apparent when all of her friends would give her a hard time about talking in English with me this week. Seriously, all of her friends asked her if she was going to speak English with me! I realized that I should be extremely thankful that she was willing to take a break from Spanish despite the fact that I was able to speak and understand Spanish. Apparently it is common knowledge here that Michelle won’t speak, write, or listen to things in English, even with other people from the United States! It’s her rule! She is here to learn, study, and practice Spanish, and that is what she is doing, hard core! Very Impressive! (Although she did admit that it was nice to have a break from Spanish this week and not have to think about every word she said.)
3. I have been blown away by Michelle’s courage and confidence. After seeing Michelle’s life here and talking with her about many things, I was constantly blown away by what she is doing. I have thought to myself over and over, wow! Some of the things I had heard about and read on her blog, but they struck me strongly while here. Here are some of those wow moments..

- She came and is here by herself, not knowing anyone! Everyone she knows she has met in the last three months.

- Michelle had to find a place to live all by herself! Yes, look in the newspaper, make phone calls, visit houses, meet strangers, all in Spanish! I speak Spanish and this freaks me out!

- Michelle doesn’t have a network of people who speak English. In fact she doesn’t even know or want to know if people speak English. She is disciplined enough to not use English even when should could!

- Things are different and can be uncomfortable and it doesn’t phase her.

- Michelle is confident. She doesn’t let the fact that she is a gringa in Mexico change who she is or what she does. Yet, people are comfortable with her, accepting, and welcoming

Although, I miss Michelle in Denver, it is great and amazing to see what she is doing here in Mexico. I don't feel as if she is so far away now that I know what an amazing new world she is a part of.