June 15, 2008

Past two weekes update:

1. Still feel good about my living situation. I have loved the last two weeks living alone. However, as of today I have one (maybe two) roommates; a professor and her daughter, although I don´t know if her daughter is coming or not. I have met the professor, but very briefly, so I haven´t really gotten a chance to know her yet. She will be here the rest of the time I will be. I have been a little anxious about this change, but I knew it was a possibility when I decided to live here and was willing to take that "risk". As school is out, it might be nice to have a little company. Either way, it is for only for three weeks.

2. Farewells continue. Classes are finished, and most are also done with exams. I threw two official goodbye parties (celebrated with cake) with the two classes with whom I have been both semesters. I also said goodbye, earlier than expected, to my friend Alberto who is off to France for the summer. Needless to say, the these farewells have made me sad and melancoly. However, I am grateful for having gotten to know them: they have helped make this year a great experience and some of my best memories are with them. (It´s a good thing there are still friends here who I haven´t had to say goodbye to yet.)

3. Social time: Carne asada with Carmen this weekend, farewell for Alberto, lunch with Carlos (Veronique´s boyfriend), salsa/excercie classes, lunch with the family at the old house, running into classmates at school, etc. (I haven´t had a lack for those of you that worry about me!)

4. Reflections: saying goodbye, end of semester, almost the end of my year here have made me very reflective. Much of this year has been so different than I expected; with many parts more wonderful than I antipated, and other personal things more painful and difficult than I thought. I have so many feelings that surface: readiness to go back to the US (to understand everything again, to be finished with my papers for BGSU); nostalgia and grief that comes with saying goodbyes and approaching the end; disappointment and suprise at the goals, hopes, expectations that haven´t been fulfilled like I had wanted them to be; realization about the changes that I will have upon returning to the US and the areas that wouldn´t get any easier (starting over again in a new place), desires to take advantage of the time I do have left with the people I know. Again, many many reflections. Shocker I know!

5. BGSU papers...still working on them. Slower than I´d like or should. (One reason to appreciate having classes done and some goodbyes made already).

6. Three weeks left. (10 1/2 month completed). Very strange to think that will no longer be my home.

7. Still cooking yumminess! Still insanely hot!

Week 1 Living Alone

-The first two days it was REALLY quiet (proof I have been living with people and lots of noise for nine months). However, with a little background noise (TV or music) does the trick and I’m already adjusting to having it completely quiet again.

-I have to prepare my own food again. Although I don’t cook everyday (obviously!), I have been taking advantage of the fact that I have an extra reason to learn some good Mexican recipes before I go, while I have the all the ingredients readily available as well as people to ask for help. (Otherwise I would have waited until the US, and that isn’t quite as convenient.

-It was a busy week, so I didn’t get the full effect. That might happen once school gets out, but living with people doesn’t equal not feeling lonely as evidenced the past semester.

-I like living alone : ).

A Week of Farewells (2nd semester)

This week is Goodbyes Part 2. (More parts later….I am afraid the farewell process will not be short.)

In part, because it’s the 23^rd on Friday, which was the original day for the final day of classes before we had the strike. As a result, many of the other exchange students are leaving because their pre-existing summer plans don’t allow them stay to the end of the semester, which is now June 20.

Tomorrow, Thursday, my “Advanced Spanish for Foreigners” class is a having farewell party. The two I will remember from that class are Brian (US) and Hirochi (Japan), for all the times we laughed together in class; I enjoyed getting to know both of them.

On Friday, there is a carne asada for Veronique, who leaves next Wednesday. She will be the most hard to say goodbye to of all the people I have met this year; her friendship has been a tremendous blessing to me and in many ways she has helped keep me

(semi)-sane.

The timing of the other goodbye this week is more unexpected. The family with whom I have been living. I am moving out on Saturday. As you very well know, this semester I have been super stressed. I have not been able to do a good job of managing that stress and living with a family. In the last month, there have also been many incidents in which they have failed in their part of the housing arrangement. Both they and I have responsibility in the breaking of this arrangement, and therefore also our relationship.

I have been in contact with the Exchange Program throughout this process. They have graciously offered that I can stay in a house that is currently empty, similar to my situation at the beginning of the school year. (I have the most amazing Exchange Program ever!) My decision to move out was 1) that despite their efforts and despite appearances that all is well, there are still things going on that can resurface at any time, 2) That despite my efforts, my ongoing irritability and frustration in response to these incidents is not going to improve by sheer will power, and as a result it will continue to be a tense environment for me.

The decision has been very painful and difficult. I have doubts about my view of the situation. I worry about what impact I am leaving behind; especially in the groups I represent, i.e. an American, a Christian, etc. However, I also think and hope that my decision to move out will mean one less stress, and will prove to the better decision.

In regards to the relationship, I also hope, as a trusted family member told me, that I (and they) might even find a little grace.

PS
I wrote this last Wednesday before telling them. I have indeed received grace. Upon telling them of my decision, the "kids" (ages 16-21) responded very kindly, saying that I should come and visit. Luz Belia choose to not respond right away (which I said she didn´t have to), but the the next day she said the I could come and eat with them anytime (she sells food midday so I would pay of the food I´d consume) and that the doors are alway open and I am welcome anytime. I truly feel that there is there is hope for reconciliation and that my moving out will hopefully prove to help restore our relationship to something closer to what it was before instead of the tension and stress of the last month.

I am now in my new house as of Saturday, which I will have all to my self for most of the time. It belongs to the university, and although it is not the same house I lived in last August, it is a similar situation in that the Exchange program is allowing me to stay there.

Overdue post

It´s been two weeks since I entered a post, so here´s a very quick one. Sorry if it´s a little scatter brained.

Highlights:
1) Still love living with my family. They are amazing and it continues to be a great place for me.

2) Took a break and went to Mazatlan to see brother Jon and sister in law Toni. They were spending a week doing medical missions, and I got to hang out with them over the weekend. It was great to be with family and take a break. Furthermore, I got to play in the ocean!

My brother the doctor in action!

Jon, Antonia (his translator), and Toni

3) Mexican Independence Day, September 15: In Mazatlán, we went the the Grito, or the shout. Every Independence Day in every town, there is a shout at the end of the day in the plaza in front of the cathedral, when everyone shouts "Viva Mexico" or Long live Mexico. In Mazatlan, accompanying the shout, were fireworks, confetti, lots and lots of people, a program, etc. It was a really neat cultural experience and I´m really glad I got to experience it (plus with Jon and Toni!)

The Grito...See posting on October 7th

4) Went to Kino Saturday with some of the other exchange students. Bahía de Kino (Kino Bay) is the nearest beach to Hermosillo and I´m glad I got the opportunity to go.

Kino Bay Beach

Vero, my French friend, who speaks like a Mexican!

Hard parts:
I feel like I spend all my time studying. I have implemented various strategies and still I struggle. I am also hoping to drop a class if I get the ok. However, that won´t change the amount I study, but it will hopefully give me more time to dedicate to the classes I do have.
The hard part in this is that despite the amount I study there is no much I don´t achieve and I feel like I achieve a basic level of understanding and completion of the work. Furthermore, I also don´t feel like I have time to play, make friends, dive into the culture, relax and just chill, or even respond to people´s emails or write to friends. Taking a break and going to Mazatlan made me realize how much I needed a break, but it´s still hard to make it happen. I know that all this is part of the process, but I´m tired and sick (change of seasons and stress), and I´d like to feel a little more balanced.

A Place to Live (Finally!)

The family, Luz Belia with the Edgar in front (his birthday) Cristian in the back left and Flor back right.
From left to right: Marta (Cristian's girlfriend),Rosalba (her twin sister), and Valeria (house student)


Listen to the sounds of my house as I write. Every once and awhile I can hear Luz Belia, the head of the house, talk with her brother and sister-in-law in the kitchen downstairs. Her twenty year old daughter Flor’s voice comes though louder though as she and her friends are hanging out in the room below mine. Maria Elena, an eight year old niece, talks to herself as she plays on the stairs. In the street below, dogs bark and occasional cars pass by. I am sure that the TV is on as well as twenty-four year son Cristian is a movie fanatic. However in my room, there is only the whirl of the fan and the tap dance of the keys on the computer. I have a room to myself in this house full of people, and if the AC was turned on upstairs, I wouldn’t hear anything. Well, almost. Manchitas, (“Spotty”) the dog, when she is outside of the patio, barks at every living creature that passes by. However, I think she’s down stairs.
I arrived here a week ago Sunday, and it has proved to be the perfect place for me. One reason is that I am living with a family. The family consists of Luz Belia and her three children: Edgar 15, Flor 20ish, and Cristian 24. (Her husband died a little over a year ago of cancer.) Her nephew Antonio, also known as “Chaco,” also lives in the house as he is not from Hermosillo, but is studying at the University here. (A linguistic note: Here in Hermosillo, the “ch” is pronounced “sh” is nickname is really “Shasho”. Not so great Spanish from a purist standpoint, but very helpful in determining someone’s origin in Mexico.) Anyway, the family has been extremely welcoming both in regards to the house and their activities. I have already been to an uncle’s birthday party and met several other relatives. Not only do I get to get plugged into their family network, I also have a social network of University students. Not only are Cristian, Flor , Chaco, and myself studying, there are two other girls living here, Valeria and Ilse, but Cristian’s girlfriend Marta and her twin sister often frequent the house. So despite the fact that I feel “old” as I am hanging out with people in their early twenties, there is almost always something going on, so that is really nice. However, I also get my own space! I offered to pay a little extra to have a room to myself. At times I feel a little guilty as the house is quite full, but not guilty enough to change it as I really appreciate having a quiet place to study or retreat when I need it. The final reason the house is perfect is that Luz Belia is a practicing Catholic who also attends an Evangelical church which also has some Pentecostal beliefs as well! As a fellow Christian, I feel blessed to live with a common faith from whom I can be challenged with the differences as well. Furthermore, Valeria, one of the other girls who lives here, is also a Christian.
Regarding the actual house building, the house is not large, but not too small either. There is a downstairs with a kitchen and living room with a little corner for the computer by the stairs as well as a bathroom. Adjacent to the kitchen is a little store (groceries and snacks) that Luz Belia runs and owns. Upstairs, are the four bedrooms as well as two bathrooms. The house amenities are fabulous! We have air conditioning and wireless internet in the house! In summary, it is a very nice place to live and I am pleased.